Friday, July 27, 2007
Everything i...
Everything is so fuckedI have until Monday, and then I'm going to decideDo i continue with all this bullshit?I have five options, according to Conlon and various others...***Leave school and get a job (highly possible)***Change schools (no, i like this school, i just don't like year 12)***Drop out now and recommence year 12 with the current year 11s (at least they are nice, with the exception of one PURITANICAL CHRISTIAN)***Do year 12 over two years***Stay in schoolAny other suggestions?I hate it, everyone is so awful. Everyone just says "cheer up, they are jealous" BUT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO BE FUCKING JEALOUS OF!!!!Everyone thinks I'm a brain or something, but they are so dead wrong.Everyone thinks I'm confident or something, but they are delusional.I can't figure out if I'm bored, or struggling, or pissed off, but I defintely know the system sucks.My "friends" are all cunts, with the exception of people like Gen. Thank you.I really hate this, and I don't know how to express it, or how to keep on track. You really learn who your real friends are. I'm going to name a name, first period of English, Roberta said to me "Let's do our English oral together when it comes up, I think we work really well together." (direct quote) But when it came to studying for history she told tomassini that i am impossible to work with and don't want her help, despite actively seeking it. She couldn't even tell me to my face. All i did was stand up for myself, because i'm sick of being walked over and now everyone is against me. It's not even most of their business, I just wanted to try and get a working relationship going with the girl, but she became colder and colder. It hurts so much, deep inside. i feel fucking helpless and used and I'm just spiralling downwards, into the abyss.i feel so used. They all want to take take take, but its like i'm banned from getting anything back. I feel drained. I feel sick. I hate everything. I hate everyone. and i can't decide who i hate more, them for fucking with my head, or myself for not fucking this all off earlier.
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2 comments:
Hey Lisa, It seems that you are going through a hard time (Please don't take the comment to be sarcastic.) Can I ask, what is the matter? If the problem is your year level why would you possibly want leave and let them think that they have that power of an Individual. You are intelligent, your strengths may not be in science and maths but they do lie elsewhere. You have a great ability to see a situation and form an opinion on it. Your opinions are well thought and intelligent. When you get up and speak at debating you are amazing to watch. You seem to process so much information and know just when to use it. I have to admit I am jealous of you. And I know just how you feel about that Christian. She is really bothering me too, In Politics she thinks she's the best and goes home and writes an essay a night, then coming up to me the next day and gloats about everything. She complains to Tommo that the work standard of the school is too low (if you hate it leave. If my opinion counts for anything I think you should stay in school. If you like the school fuck everyone else and just do whatever pleases you. At the end of the year you can leave and never see them again. Just when you make your decision make sure it's for the right reasons, its what is best, and what pleases you, Mel
Oh Lise, dont be so upset! I wish I could say more than what i've said, but i think you can do this. I have faith in you, and you know I'll always be here to help you. Unlike SOME OTHERS who have been pissing the both of us off i don't suddenly get pissed off out of the blue. Take your time making this decision, but think about how far you've come, and how close you are to the end. If we get an enter of 50, fuck it. We'll go overseas and do something....or go find that uni in the desert....or just dissapear into the sunset that appears every night, whether or not you got 99.95!! Fuck the enter. Get your mum to buy a nutshack for you so u can have a job, lol. There's always something.gen.
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